MozamBANANABREADPUDDING?

Model School: Last week we had model school. This was a chance for us
volunteers to gain experience teaching real students in a real
classroom. Since it’s summer vacation for the kids, we had to bribe
them to come to what was essentially summer school for them. How did
we entice them? With cookies, of course. I was part of the group of
volunteers teaching 8th grade Chemistry. Class sizes each day ranged
from 2 to 20 kids, depending on weather and whether of not your class
was before cookie time. Class size dropped dramatically when it was
rainy, when it was cold, when it was really hot, and after the kids
got their cookies. I had to combine 2 classes just to get enough kids
to play Jeopardy on review day (I let the kids pick their team names.
They decided on Black Heart vs. Hollywood). School/learning here is so
different from what we are used to. Kids sit 2 to 3 to a desk. Classes
stay in one room and the teachers move around so there is nothing on
the walls except broken windows and a cracked chalkboard. The kids
don’t take notes unless you write on the board, specifically tell them
what to write, and walk around the class to make sure they’re writing
(although in their defense this was summer school with teachers who
butchered their language). My students had never made nametags before
or reviewed before a test. During the test, the kids couldn’t give me
an answer for “why is chemistry important/why do we learn chemistry?”
even though I would have given them credit for literally ANY answer.
They are used to straight memorization so any critical thinking
questions completely throw them for a loop. Can’t wait to teach for
real!

Thanksgiving: Since we had model school all last week, we had to move
Thanksgiving to Friday. A few of us made hand turkeys. Mine was a
Green Bay Packers turkey, complete with cheese head, that said, “I am
thankful for Aaron Rodgers’ hot bod and smokin’ right arm.” When it
came to eating I was so impressed with our group. Everyone brought a
dish and we had way too much food. I made banana bread pudding. There
were turkeys, stuffing, squash soup, salads, hummus, spinach dip,
garlic bread, mango salsa, homemade chips, fudge, apple crisp, sweet
potato pie, mashed potatoes, EVERYTHING! We are so resourceful. When I
took the leftovers home I offered them to my host family, but they
refused to try my banana bread pudding. They did, however, eat almost
all of Anna’s apple crunch cake. BREAK MY HEART FAMILY! To be fair the
apple crunch cake was fantastic.

Chickens: I’m done feeling bad for you. I tried telling you to run
away last night (in English, Portuguese, AND Changana) but what do you
do? You sit right next to the charcoal stove where Grandma is braiding
the intestines of one of your brethren. Dummies.

Changana: Yesterday we started learning our local languages. For me
this means I’m learning Changana. As if learning Portuguese wasn’t
hard enough, we have to learn an African dialect and our language book
is in Portuguese. Fun times. It also didn’t help Fridays are the days
I take my malaria medication, which turns me into a drool-y zombie.

Maputo: Last Saturday we had a free day so I went to Maputo with a few
other girls. Hello adventure. We met at the Chapa station at 6AM. The
Chapa was already packed, but we managed to fit 4 more in, making the
final head count 23 (keep in mind this is a van). First we drove
towards Swaziland to drop people off near the border, next we turned
around and drove slowly through town to re-fill the Chapa, then we
waited outside someone’s house for 10 minutes before finally heading
in the right direction. The Chapa barreled down the mountain roads at
100km/hour passing anything and everything in front of it. A sweaty
hour and a half later we arrived in Maputo. First stop was the Art
Market where we were bombarded with people trying to sell us
keychains, necklaces, paintings, and capulanas. Bartering has become
such a fun game. The salesperson suggests some outrageous price and I
shout something like “EH PA!” and roll my eyes. Then I suggest
something ridiculously low and they laugh and ask if I’m crazy. We
eventually agree on something in the middle and I make off with some
swanky earrings. Other highlights from Maputo include getting vanilla
soft serve at KFC, curry at an Indian restaurant, and internet at a
random hotel called VIP. Ah, first world treats.

Homestay Party: What an event. Our host moms started cooking at 6AM
for our 2PM lunch. There was singing, there was dancing, there were
certificates! “Congratulations, your volunteer survived! Hooray!” They
killed 60 chickens for this party. I think I was served a whole
chicken and when I told the lady it was too much she yelled at me and
said, “Too much?!? IT’S A PARTY, YOU WILL EAT ALL OF IT!” We then
danced for hours with our host siblings until it was time for cake,
which turned into a death match for the last few pieces. Overall, it
was a great bonding experience for the families and volunteers. After
the party we crashed a wedding at the local bar where I received a
record number of marriage proposals. Oh Namaacha, how I will miss you.

Rice: No more. Please.

Readers: I’d like to thank everyone who sent me e-mails these past 2
weeks. Even if I haven’t gotten back to you yet, I loved reading about
your lives and juicy American gossip. ASHTON AND DEMI ARE GETTING A
DIVORCE OMG WHAT WHY?!?

Things I miss: Multi-ply toilet paper, cheese, Grandma Carita’s furry
snowmobilin’ boots, Food Network, comfy beds, pretzels, peanut butter
toast, ugly Christmas sweaters, waffles on Sundays, and Papa J’s
coffee.

Things I love here: It’s summer, it’s mango season, all the
neighborhood kids know my name, no one judges me for going to bed at
8PM, petting my host sister’s afro when she gets her braids taken out,
hanging out with my topless host grandma while she slaughters
countless chickens, my model school students saying “hello teacher
Lena” on the street, feeling like I’m camping when I hike outside to
the bathroom at night with my headlamp, Beyonce is always on
somewhere, baby ducks, and Yutaka’s flannel shirt.

Next Blog: Swearing in and Weddings